This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

 

 

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I see that I am an extremely rare individual these days, in that I actually like surprises in my games from time to time. Surprises can be fun! Well, with the most recent leak of the Smash Brothers roster we have all had yet another opportunity for a surprise stripped away from us. To put it into perspective for those who cannot follow my line of thinking, remember when you found out that Magus was playable in Chrono Trigger? Remember that time in Jet Set Radio future when you somehow unlocked the GG’s dog as a playable character? Those kinds of surprises were why you played the games! This kind of surprise is basically dead thanks to the inevitability of these leaks brought on by the internet and its role in our society.

In all seriousness, the guy who did this is beyond screwed. When/if he is found by the Nintendo Secret Police he will be fired and probably fed to sharks. When you sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) you are under the threat of severe penalty for running your mouth to the wrong group of people. The likely scenario of what is going to happen is that he/she will be fired (least of their worries) , sued straight into oblivion, and blacklisted in the industry. While many people are happy to receive this info, it was an extremely poor decision to leak it and this individual’s life is about to be miserable long term for 15 minutes of internet fame.

Spoilers below the break.

You may be asking at this point, what exactly was leaked? New leak details are below.

New Characters:

  • Bowser Jr
  • Shulk
  • Duck Hunt Dog
  • Dark Pit (Clone)
  • Dr. Mario (Clone, Back from Melee)

 

I have not personally seen these characters in any in game shots or footage but buzz (4chan, Reddit) is that these characters are also in.

Rumored Characters:

  • Mewtwo (Back from Melee)
  • Dixie Kong
  • Mach Rider
  • Impa
  • Ridley

I am not entirely sold on the validity of the second set of characters, but from what I have seen of the first set no one will be disappointed in their inclusion. I am really, really excited to see this game come out. I do, on occasion, yearn for a time forgotten where games a mystique about them. A time when rumors and details could only be confirmed by playing the game, but that was a long time ago. In the here and the now we demand to know things here and now. For better or worse, we have the Smash roster here and now, and it looks fantastic.

 

Sources:

Leak Compilation

Video Leaks

One Response to “ This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things ”

  1. There’s nothing more surprising than a Scorpion Death Drop!

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